How often have we heard, "He got more than I did!" Here is a fair illustration of how much to give each child.
When we mums fall into equality, the battle is endless. There will always be a way to count one way to prove that the other has more. Equity, on the other hand, allows everyone to receive according to their needs, at the time they are in.
Do we tend to buy a gift for the second because we bought a book for the first? Do we tend to give the little one more cake because the older one has eaten more? Even though we are aware that their appetite and physical needs are different due to their age or body type? Do we tend to always tell the older child to share with the younger one simply because he is bigger... and that we don't have to deal with the crying of the younger one...?
When we explain to our children that equality has no value: would it be fair to give the same present to each of the three children for Christmas? Would it be fair to serve the same birthday cake to each of our children when one prefers chocolate and the other strawberries?
Let's make sure that there is fairness. Let's make sure that we give each of our children a good view of life and of their history. A mother's love is not measured in cubes - to use the illustration. Each child is unique, and it is up to us, as mothers, to express our love in a unique and personal way. And to reassure everyone with great tenderness and delicacy when our children are tempted to measure. Measurement is impossible, we love them infinitely!
So what do you choose? Equality or fairness? Is it more difficult in your heart, being afraid of not being fair, or is it more difficult for your children's hearts?