Updated: Sep 28
Work, home-schooling, house duties…
… spend time together (chatting, sharing a meal…), play, relax, exercise, daydream, have a dedicated time for oneself…
What have you identified as essential during the last past weeks?
Setting a daily routine and sticking to it will save you from saying the same things 100 times over… and it will benefit the quality of the relationships in your home. You could see yourself as an athlete dedicated to running marathons: you may not win the first race, the first week may be chaotic, but with your constant commitment over time, you will train yourself and improve for the better!
It is important for everyone to realise that this daily family routine is teaching and preparation for the broader social life. For everyone to be happy, everyone has to know that their needs are respected. Sense of service is key when one is part of a community. Yes tidying up could be annoying for a young one, but life is also about frustration, courage and service. So even if your children complain about the rules everyone had agreed together to keep the family organised, you, as a mother, could exercise your authority to ensure that everyone respects the program for the benefit of all. Keep in mind that it will be beneficial in their future.
Show patience, encouragement and tenderness. This is a huge opportunity for your children to develop their sense of responsibility and sense of effort, useful tools for their adult lives. Raising children who will be able to step in, offer their help and support for one other will become adults that will be open to the others in their life, at work, with their friends and family. So carry on mum, you are doing a great job here!
Be wise with screen time, put it in your schedule, for you and for your children. Being truly present to what you are doing (working, cooking, reading, exercising…) is much more relaxing for you than checking messages while working or playing. Same for our children. Too much screen time makes children more agitated. So set a reasonable time each day and be strict.
Revisit and amend your schedule as time progresses, then trust yourself and chose what is essential for your own family. Express your needs, find solutions, implement them and adapt if necessary. And dare to say you are sorry. I am not saying that you have to say sorry everytime you are firm or bossy. As a parent, you have to be strong to let your child grow safely. That means that sometimes you will not be the kind and nice one as you will have to insist that necessary things are done that may not please your child.
However, everyone can hurt someone, intentionally or not. Bring back peace. Your child is your most treasured gift in your life. Don’t let little things fill your tank with anger or resentment, this could be too explosive! Humor will be a nice way to admit you got it wrong and you learn from your mistake. Hence you will show your children that you are not perfect, neither are they, but you love them unconditionally. What a great example for your children, following your role model, if they manage to do the same, to be great adults, humble and keen to progress.
At the end of the day, take a few minute to be grateful for something that happened in the day: a meal shared together, a nice phone call, some exercise in the sun, a book that made you feel good, the smell of the coffee, your children giggling… This will shape your state of mind, be source of happiness and make you trust that tomorrow you will be grateful again.
Finding the value of what happened in the day develop a sense of accomplishment. It was not perfect, but it was valuable. Good luck, and let love radiate!
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